I remember the pages of prayers in my grandma’s journal as a kid. My grandpa and grandma took me to church until she lost her battle with cancer when I was in the fifth grade. She is the one who taught me to pray and left a legacy of following Jesus.

Over the years there have been seasons of prayer for me; each one looking a little different. In some seasons, I’ve interceded for those in my life. In others, I’ve cried out in desperation for myself wondering what God was doing. And then there are the seasons when all I can do is quietly sit with God.

In a particularly rough season, about 10 years ago, my marriage to Tim was falling apart. We were on the verge of disaster and I didn’t know what to do or where to turn. We were at the proverbial fork in the road and so I decided to do what my grandma taught me.

Pray.

We had this book sitting on our bookshelf called The Power of a Praying Wife. Funny enough, someone had given it to me early in our marriage. I guess they must have known I’d need this book someday.

I started reading and praying, and God began asking me to do some pretty tough things. He asked me to stop fighting Tim and start fighting for Tim. He told me to stop talking to Tim about our marriage problems and start talking to Him about our dysfunction. In the months that followed, God began to show me that He is enough for me and that the love, joy, and peace that I desired do not rest on my husband’s ability to make me happy.

I started to surrender my agenda for God’s plan and, as a result, I began to pray for Tim in ways I had never done before. In the process of praying for Tim, my heart changed and I began to love him in new ways, regardless of whether he would love me in return.

Instead of seeing the worst in Tim, God helped me believe the best. Instead of being sharp, God softened my heart and helped me hold my tongue. Instead of demanding love in return, He showed me how to love Tim unconditionally.

Almost a year after God changed me, he began to change Tim. And ever since then we have been on the journey of following Jesus together; what began as a messy story is being used for His glory.

In that season I learned something that I think my grandma knew. Prayer has a lot more to do with surrender than we think. We must release control and allow God to do what only he can do.

And in the process, we are transformed.

-Kelli Shelton

Want to know more?
We talk about prayer in the latest episode of our podcast Free And Light